What is your philosophy behind gift giving?

A close relative does not believe in gift giving, rejects the notion of accepting useless gifts and gives very little. She believes that gift giving is superficial and unnecessary, but frustrates all those around her who attempt to bring her gifts. Is it so much to ask for her to express gratitude rather than repulsion when accepting a gift? I wanted to share with her literature on the flow of giving and receiving, but can't remember where I had read it.

What is your philosophy behind gift giving?
I didn't think there was a philosophy behind gift giving. I give for bdays, anniversaries, holidays and if I see something that I know someone will like.
Reply:It is to give something YOU love for yourself to some one.
Reply:No real offense, but Philosophy truly should be far deeper, even in a general sense, than questions like this.





That said however, and without reading the text of the Q,,, Charity/Gifting, is often as much an act of kindness as it is a self serving, ego inflating issue for the giver.





Tangibles,,,if that's what floats someones boat, might effect subtle but short term senses in the receiver, but it truly is a shallow means to gratify and feel gratified.





Steven Wolf
Reply:My family only buys gifts for members under the age of 18. Yes it would be nice to recieve a gift at x-mas time or any other time, but it is not nessesary. x-mas, Easter, and birthdays are really for children anyway. Also, it is so hard to buy for some people, that I find it frustrating to try to find anything for most of them, even the children. I don't know what your Aunt's problem is, but gift giving usually comes from the heart, not from the pocket.
Reply:I think if you are truly giving the gift from the heart or because you want to, and not because you feel obligated, then how the relative handles the receiving of the gift shouldn't matter.





In fact, if you are truly giving from your heart, it shouldn't matter at all.
Reply:I am largely indifferent when it comes to gifts. I like to give someone a meaniful and pleasing gift if I can, however, I would sooner give nothing than give a superficial gift to a friend or relation. It may not be too much to ask for her to show thanks for a gift but would you be happy to know that she is simply lying? Would you be content to ask someone to put their feelings aside and lie simply because they have a different opinion? How hard would it be for you to respect someone else's point of view, even if it differed from your own?
Reply:Though a very rare thing, she is perhaps more right than the vast majority who may not choose to share the wisdom !


Gift has to be need based, to really make sense. The idea of gift was to help the person who needs something, but may not be able to get it easily. Over a period of time, it got tied down to occasions like birthday, anniversaries etc, and the original purpose got burried. Gift now even serves to evade income/wealth tax ! And imagine the predicament of receiving large paintings, photographs, in large numbers, even duplications, thrust with some publicised sentiments to a person with very little wall space to place it !


The least that can be done is to leave that wise person alone , if courage is lacking to support good sense !
Reply:The giving of a gift should always be from the heart, if possible. Sometimes that's not always possible--for a variety of reasons.





There is such a thing as being gracious. Give graciously, receive graciously. If one can't rise to such a simple act, then that says a lot about a person.





Maybe your relative has some emotional problems that need to be worked out.





I guess eventually people will just stop giving her gifts, in an effort to ease her distress over such perceived hostility.





Having said all that, I'd agree, gift giving is unnecessary.





But it's nice. And sometimes it just feels right.